'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Why can't burritos get me drunk
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
