So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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