I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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