Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
