never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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