We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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