he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
