yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
