you suck at this game today
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom