just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Just took my morning after pill in the library
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then