you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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