I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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