We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
