my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
My ass is underappreciated
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
