I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize