I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I think I sprained my soul last night
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
