You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
