and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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