had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
