sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
