You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
