I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
