I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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