i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
so much tequila, so little girl.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
