I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
