Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
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I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
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I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize