just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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