I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
