I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
