VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
