His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
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Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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