i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
