I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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