I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Randomize
