So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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