id be glad to
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
