last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
