yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
