I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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