i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
