There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
