Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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