I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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