what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i will never coherently bang her
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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