I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
