hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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