I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
