doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Randomize
