we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
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