Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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