hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
So much rum. So many feels.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
