Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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