A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
