so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
