lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
