out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
