I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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