I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
