"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You need a sexual gate keeper
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
