They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
as a side note pls kill me
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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