I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
