So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
