One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Randomize
